Okay, so I just wanted to address a couple things that have been on my mind lately, possibly engendered by the responses to my latest venty post (though I take nothing back, and seriously am thankful for your overwhelming encouragement). It may be extremely unnecessary and I’m sorry if you think this is pointless but I’m writing this for me just as much as I am for you guys.
First of all, I’ve decided not to delete any of my previous posts.
Last night I kind of lost sleep over how I want to run my blog because tumblr has become more than just a website for me. I do care about you guys and I do want to represent Christianity in the most accurate way possible - both to people who share the faith, and to those who don’t know about it, don’t agree with it, or are just curious about it. So I kind of took a step back today to reflect on what I’m really doing on this site and how I’m doing it. The purpose of a blog is to share (in this case) parts of my life with people. The ‘how’ has a couple options.
There’s the option of posting only polished thoughts, things I have pondered and prayed about, things that I think would be encouraging and beneficial for you guys to read - and there’s the option of being completely raw and in-the-moment with you guys. The latter isn’t always pretty, but it is honest.
I’ve decided that I’m going to continue doing what I promised I would do from the start of my tumblr. I’m going to be real, and as truthful as possible, always. Sometimes, I will post spur-of-the-moment things; I will use this blog as an outlet to vent and rant and talk about things that excite me. Sometimes I’ll be emotional. I’m not going to censor myself to make other people comfortable. But sometimes I will make well-thought out posts and talk about things that have been laid on my heart too.
This blog is going to be a direct reflection of where I am in life, meaning it’s always going to reflect my flaws, but at the same time, it’s always going to reflect His overwhelming Love and Grace. Sometimes I’ll have good days and sometimes I’ll have bad ones. Faith comes with multiple seasons. And I’m going to be honest about all of them. I owe myself and you guys that much.
As a fair warning, sometimes I’ll end up swearing in my posts, just like sometimes I do in person. It’s not something I’m proud of, and I’m working on being mindful of my words, so hopefully (I predict) it’ll die off, but sometimes it happens. I’m honestly generally against swearing, but sometimes there’s no other way to express an emotion properly and honestly, even though I should, sometimes I just don’t care. It’s just another aspect of my daily life and where I am and I’m sorry if that offends you.
At the same time I realize that I need to be mindful of the unknown struggles of others, and try to not unintentionally be a stumbling block. It is best to lead the way by example and action and I’m working on that too, so I’ll definitely take that into consideration before I post something as well
Overall, if you choose to follow me or to continue to follow me, know I’ll do my best to be unapologetically who I am and reflect Jesus in just the same way. I’m going to be as real as possible because that’s all I can do, and that’s going to include all the great encouraging well-thought-out posts and all the emotional ranty ones. All my shitty days and all my good days. I’m just kind of learning as I go along.
I really genuinely value you guys and I love getting to know you and learning from you, and your encouragement is priceless.
So yeah, thanks for being awesome people. I hope your weeks are freakin awesome and I hope you eat foods that make you happy and have good conversations and get lots of sunshine.
Love you guys.